'...it knocks you down...'

I'm so over my head and its crazy. What I want more then anything, and what I think is the right thing to do at the moment are two totally different things and I don't know what to do! If I decide what I really want, nobody, just about none of my friends would support my decision, I know it. But does that make it wrong? They arn't in my shoes, they don't know how I'm feeling. Then of corse I'm only part of the equation. What does he want? Its hard to understand, because he seems to be putting what he thinks is best for me first, but I really don't know if thats best for me arghh everything is just so confusing!
In short, do you follow your heart, or your mind?

Formal Formal Formal and stuff xD

Wow, stuff has been crazy! It was the formal on Saturday =) OMG it was SOOO much fun! Better then I expected! First off got ready, got my hair done at 12, but got there and shes like 'k so u want a wash and cut right' I'm like WHAT NOOOO, formal style! Eeek but she wasn't too busy so she curled my hair and stuff, i looved how it looked :D. Headed to Aimee's at 6, everybody there looked amazing! And then got a limo to Addington, it was really cool, got heaps of photos before the formal. Then everybody got breath tested except me! It was wierd, he said I could just go on through lol I must look very inocent xD. And yeah, partied all night lol. There was pretty good music, the dj was really nice, food was goood (cept ben got food poisoning cos he ate the fish when it got cold =() And yeah, mint az night!
Afterwards was AWSOME! Hehe to begin with I thought it was going to be crap cos I only knew Aimee and Kimbo but it turned out to be lots of fun, haha probably just cos I loosened up with a few drinks, i didn't have much though and didn't get wasted like a few people *cought Aimee cough*. But it was a lot of fun :D
There was one really crappy part of the night, a slow dance, lots of couples, I got upset and I didn't wanna draw attention so just carried on as usual, but it was hard. I thought I was over the whole situation but that point showed me I'm really really not. Which sucks, I want to be in total control of my heart and emotions but sometimes you can't be. I just want to say I'm over him, it doesn't mean anything. But I can't and it drives me mental!! So since then its all been a bit up and down, but thats life.
School isn't that great, pretty much my 2 best Hagley mates don't like hanging out together anymore so I'm smack bang in the middle. It really sux, each lunch i have to choose who I hang with and I just want to hang with both of them!! Its not fair on me but theres nothing I can do about it!
But other then that things are good! Cept lots of people go away in like just over a week? France people at mgs AND Cambodia people at Hagley, maths isn't going to be as fun without Aimee! But they are all going to have an incredible time which will be great :D
But yeah, thats whats going on xD

Partaaay

Wow, last night was AWSOME! Actually all of yesturday was great! Had photography first thing, wasn't too bad. Finished school at 10.30 =) But hung around cos Heydn had law next then at 12 we hung out, fried rice, the usual. Then crap it was suddenly 2.45 and I still needed to get home and to ric before 3.30 to meet Jo! Not gunna happen, but heydn and i bused to mine then to ric. I was very late =( And felt so bad but we hung and ate. Then off to Hannahs. Haha there weren't many people to begin with so Jo and I went for a crazy walk. We were SOOO hyper hehe running around like crazy xD. It must of seemed pretty dodg how Jo adn i kept disapearing. Then as more people came, started drinking. Wow, I thought I'd been drunk before but WOAHH nope, last night I ended up totally wasted. And now I feel like shit, but serves me right. I wasn't even planning on having more then 1 drink but haha 6 shots and a few glasses later, didn't work out that way. Apparently i am INCREDIBLY annoying drunk xD I giggle. A LOT. Hehehe. And daniel fell or something into my leg and it hurts like hell and il probably not be able to dance on monday =(. And i had gluten so as well as a headache this morning i felt sicker then i would have otherwise. But it was deff an Awsome night! So much fun :D Haha Georgia's bf put me in bed at like 1 so i was asleep hours before the others but i needed it lol. Anyway, good night all in all =)

Music music Music

I have my 5 star songs on my media player playing randomly and am annoyed that every single song that seems to be playing is how im feeling at the moment arghh. Do you find that? Like for example if someone had broken up with you then all that seems to play is sad break up songs? (not that thats whats happened xD)
'Where would we be now baby, if we'd found each other first?'

'Were you right, was I wrong? Were you weak was I strong? Yeah both of us broken, caught in a moment. We lived and we laughed and we hurt and we joked, Yeah. Were the planets all aligned when you looked into my eyes? And just like that, chemicals react, the chemicals react.'

'To you babe I can't stay away. Get up, go down then we go on around, its wrong but I can't stay, I can't stay away.'

3 freaking songs in a row.

Why?

Why do we still like and care about the people that hurt us? Everybody else is like No, they arn't worth it, forget about them! But you don't, you can't. Sometimes I wish you could, ughh.

Tell Me Lies

Cause I don't wanna know
If I kissed your lips for the last time
Please don't say if it's so
Tell my heart it's not goodbye
And do this one thing for me
Make up some stupid story tonight
it's alright, keep your truth and tell me lies


Ugh ugh ugh today was terrible, except for seeing the people I saw! Which ended up being A lot!
Anyways, don't really wanna babble on.

Everything

'Coz everything everything makes me think of you
And everything everything that I wanna do
I know you can see now when you look at me
I want you, so tell me now
Do you? Do you? Want me too?'

Wow, so this song is by The Veronicas, no idea where it came from, I've never heard it before but it was in my media player! And I LOOOOVE it so much :D Mm and it also kinda expresses what I'm feeling at the moment. Hmm except I know the answer to that question in it. Gahh love is waay too complicated.