Tomorrow in a bottle

I waited for the day that
Together we can find another way back
But everything we've got at stake
Lets worry about today and put tomorrow in a bottle
If there's some way that we can take back
The wrong that we've created
We can change that
Don't turn your head the other way
You're gunna save today
But tomorrow in a bottle
Let's put tomorrow in a bottle



Tomorrows are scary at the moment. I know that probably doesn't make much sense but with such huge things going on at the moment each day is scarier then the previous. My whole life is scary at the moment, but also very very exciting. I wish I could just tell my friends why this is, but I can't, not yet.
But anyway, I don't want to think of tomorrow, or the day after (not just in this exact day, I mean in general) even though that would be a smart thing to do. I want to only think about today and live for the day. Yes I'm being ignorant, I don't care.

Gahh

Long time no post!
I have been waaaay to busy!
So many parts of life just feel like a chore at the moment, very few things are making me happy. I don't want to sound depressed, cos its not like I can't be happy, when I am with some people I am very very happy. But I hate being alone at all now. Which is reaaally wierd considering I used to LOVE having time to myself. Now I just feel lonely. Doesn't help that someone is angry at me when I didn't even do anything! I'm sick of being accused of things I didn't do.
Relationships are complicated, I dont just mean boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. I mean any in general. I'm really trying to work on my relationship with my mum, cos its not that great at the moment. There are friends who I need to make more of an effort with. Relationships with your boyfriend always need to develop, but I think the relationship I'm struggling with most at the moment is my relationship with God, its really not to great, which I hate but I don't know what to do!
Gah all I really want to do is cuddle up to Heydn, then life seems perfect and I don't have to worry about anything. But I can't do that All the time, I can't hide from my problems like I am. I really need to sort myself out.
I'm a mess to be honest and I don't even understand WHY, my thoughts are just all over the place and so are my feelings and I feel like I can't control anything anymore. Life is just one big blur half the time.
I can't stand being like this.

Rawwr

Do you know what REALLY pisses me off? People who tell me one thing, then tell someone else something different! If you don't like someone who I ask your opinion on, don't tell me what I want to hear and then go tell others you don't like them, just tell me the damn truth!! Fricking hell I am furious at the moment. Don't tell me something is a good idea then go tell others that its terrible and I shouldn't do it. Tell it to my face. I am SO sick of all the back-stabbing and lying.
Btw i am not just talking about Hagley friends this is about longer friends to, friends who I really trust.
Just tell me the truth, please thats all I ask.

'Sweet surprise I could get used to, unusual you'

So I am incredibly happy at the moment, well over the last few weeks. But 3 of my closest school friends just have me totally confused and some of them are lying, but I trust them all so how the hell am I meant to know what the truth is :S. All I know is that Heydn and I's relationship has been the talk of a few people and its really pissing me off. I hate being talked about, Its private and if I tell you something I don't expect you to go blabbing it to everyone! Your meant to be my friends. One person tells me one thing blaming it on someone else, then they blame it on someone etc. I only want friends I can trust. I absolutly hate being angry at people too, I just want everyone to be happy, so I wish they'd all just sort their shit out and leave Heydn and I ALONE.
Anyway, all I'll say is I never thought I'd find someone so flipping perfect for me, I havn't been this happy in a long time. I really can't believe it :).

'I don't know how it gets better then this'

Well, lots has been going on hehe I am SOO happy :). But peoples opinions are still bugging me. Half of my friends don't agree with a decision i've made, but I mean, if you can't support me then your obviously not really my friend are you?
Its my own business. I want to be with Heydn, nothing anybody says is going to change my mind.
So holidays have been really really good! Been socialising like every single day but thats been fun!! Heather was up :D Did some shopping and we hung with Heydn and Jaine one day hehe.
Annd next week i get to see some friends i havn't seen in ages! Cant wait! I miss Jo and Siobhan though!! Its sooo wierd them not being here! But they are having an amazing time. And Aimee is back tomorrow which is good yaay! Ima go meet her at the airport =)

'You lift my feet off the ground,
Spin me around,
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm fallin,
And I'm lost in your eyes,
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier'

'...it knocks you down...'

I'm so over my head and its crazy. What I want more then anything, and what I think is the right thing to do at the moment are two totally different things and I don't know what to do! If I decide what I really want, nobody, just about none of my friends would support my decision, I know it. But does that make it wrong? They arn't in my shoes, they don't know how I'm feeling. Then of corse I'm only part of the equation. What does he want? Its hard to understand, because he seems to be putting what he thinks is best for me first, but I really don't know if thats best for me arghh everything is just so confusing!
In short, do you follow your heart, or your mind?

Formal Formal Formal and stuff xD

Wow, stuff has been crazy! It was the formal on Saturday =) OMG it was SOOO much fun! Better then I expected! First off got ready, got my hair done at 12, but got there and shes like 'k so u want a wash and cut right' I'm like WHAT NOOOO, formal style! Eeek but she wasn't too busy so she curled my hair and stuff, i looved how it looked :D. Headed to Aimee's at 6, everybody there looked amazing! And then got a limo to Addington, it was really cool, got heaps of photos before the formal. Then everybody got breath tested except me! It was wierd, he said I could just go on through lol I must look very inocent xD. And yeah, partied all night lol. There was pretty good music, the dj was really nice, food was goood (cept ben got food poisoning cos he ate the fish when it got cold =() And yeah, mint az night!
Afterwards was AWSOME! Hehe to begin with I thought it was going to be crap cos I only knew Aimee and Kimbo but it turned out to be lots of fun, haha probably just cos I loosened up with a few drinks, i didn't have much though and didn't get wasted like a few people *cought Aimee cough*. But it was a lot of fun :D
There was one really crappy part of the night, a slow dance, lots of couples, I got upset and I didn't wanna draw attention so just carried on as usual, but it was hard. I thought I was over the whole situation but that point showed me I'm really really not. Which sucks, I want to be in total control of my heart and emotions but sometimes you can't be. I just want to say I'm over him, it doesn't mean anything. But I can't and it drives me mental!! So since then its all been a bit up and down, but thats life.
School isn't that great, pretty much my 2 best Hagley mates don't like hanging out together anymore so I'm smack bang in the middle. It really sux, each lunch i have to choose who I hang with and I just want to hang with both of them!! Its not fair on me but theres nothing I can do about it!
But other then that things are good! Cept lots of people go away in like just over a week? France people at mgs AND Cambodia people at Hagley, maths isn't going to be as fun without Aimee! But they are all going to have an incredible time which will be great :D
But yeah, thats whats going on xD

Partaaay

Wow, last night was AWSOME! Actually all of yesturday was great! Had photography first thing, wasn't too bad. Finished school at 10.30 =) But hung around cos Heydn had law next then at 12 we hung out, fried rice, the usual. Then crap it was suddenly 2.45 and I still needed to get home and to ric before 3.30 to meet Jo! Not gunna happen, but heydn and i bused to mine then to ric. I was very late =( And felt so bad but we hung and ate. Then off to Hannahs. Haha there weren't many people to begin with so Jo and I went for a crazy walk. We were SOOO hyper hehe running around like crazy xD. It must of seemed pretty dodg how Jo adn i kept disapearing. Then as more people came, started drinking. Wow, I thought I'd been drunk before but WOAHH nope, last night I ended up totally wasted. And now I feel like shit, but serves me right. I wasn't even planning on having more then 1 drink but haha 6 shots and a few glasses later, didn't work out that way. Apparently i am INCREDIBLY annoying drunk xD I giggle. A LOT. Hehehe. And daniel fell or something into my leg and it hurts like hell and il probably not be able to dance on monday =(. And i had gluten so as well as a headache this morning i felt sicker then i would have otherwise. But it was deff an Awsome night! So much fun :D Haha Georgia's bf put me in bed at like 1 so i was asleep hours before the others but i needed it lol. Anyway, good night all in all =)

Music music Music

I have my 5 star songs on my media player playing randomly and am annoyed that every single song that seems to be playing is how im feeling at the moment arghh. Do you find that? Like for example if someone had broken up with you then all that seems to play is sad break up songs? (not that thats whats happened xD)
'Where would we be now baby, if we'd found each other first?'

'Were you right, was I wrong? Were you weak was I strong? Yeah both of us broken, caught in a moment. We lived and we laughed and we hurt and we joked, Yeah. Were the planets all aligned when you looked into my eyes? And just like that, chemicals react, the chemicals react.'

'To you babe I can't stay away. Get up, go down then we go on around, its wrong but I can't stay, I can't stay away.'

3 freaking songs in a row.

Why?

Why do we still like and care about the people that hurt us? Everybody else is like No, they arn't worth it, forget about them! But you don't, you can't. Sometimes I wish you could, ughh.

Tell Me Lies

Cause I don't wanna know
If I kissed your lips for the last time
Please don't say if it's so
Tell my heart it's not goodbye
And do this one thing for me
Make up some stupid story tonight
it's alright, keep your truth and tell me lies


Ugh ugh ugh today was terrible, except for seeing the people I saw! Which ended up being A lot!
Anyways, don't really wanna babble on.

Everything

'Coz everything everything makes me think of you
And everything everything that I wanna do
I know you can see now when you look at me
I want you, so tell me now
Do you? Do you? Want me too?'

Wow, so this song is by The Veronicas, no idea where it came from, I've never heard it before but it was in my media player! And I LOOOOVE it so much :D Mm and it also kinda expresses what I'm feeling at the moment. Hmm except I know the answer to that question in it. Gahh love is waay too complicated.

Tell me everything will be alright and I'll dream a dream of you tonight

What do you hate waiting for?
I'm waiting for someone to make a decision. Its an incredibly hard decision for him. I know what I want him to do but its not up to me and I don't know what would be the best decision for him. I can't stay away, we've tried that, twice, its doesn't work.
At the beginning of today I didn't know what I wanted. But now I know and i desperatly desperatly want him to know and I hope he does. I think he does. But I also know what she wants and so one way or another someones going to get hurt. Wow a love triangle thingie crazy huh?? Didn't think this would happen to me!
But it has and we all just have to deal with it, wait and see.

Eeek

So how does this whole, being friends, taking things slow thing work? Cos its not as simple as I thought it would b...I am so confused.
But all I know is I am really happy at the moment =) And I enjoyed today a lot hehe

MTV Video Music Awards

By the way, check this out =) Though I am so annoyed Beyonce has SOO many nominations!

Best Female Video Of The Year:

Katy Perry Hot N Cold
Beyoncé "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)"
Kelly Clarkson "My Life Would Suck Without You"
Lady Gaga "Poker Face"
P!nk "So What"
Taylor Swift "You Belong With Me"

Best Male Video
Eminem "We Made You"
Jay-Z "D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune)"
Kanye West "Love Lockdown"
Ne-Yo "Miss Independent"
T.I. ft Rihanna "Live Your Life"

Best Hip Hop Video Of The Year
Asher Roth"I Love College"
Eminem "We Made You"
Flo Rida "Right Round"
Jay-Z "D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune)"
Kanye West "Love Lockdown"

Best Pop Video
Beyoncé "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)"
Britney Spears "Womanizer"
Cobra Starship "Good Girls Go Bad (Featuring Leighton Meester)"
Lady Gaga "Poker Face"
Wisin & Yandel "Abusadora"

Best Rock Video
Coldplay "Viva La Vida"
Fall Out Boy "I Don't Care"
Green Day "21 Guns"
Kings of Leon "Use Somebody"
Paramore "Decode"

Video Of The Year
Beyoncé "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)"
Britney Spears "Womanizer"
Kanye West "Love Lockdown"
Eminem "We Made You"
Lady Gaga "Poker Face"

Breakthrough Video
Anjulie "Boom"
Bat For Lashes "Daniel"
Chairlift "Evident Utensil"
Cold War Kids "I've Seen Enough"
Death Cab for Cutie "Grapevine Fires"
Gnarls Barkley "Who's Gonna Save My Soul"
Major Lazer "Hold The Line"
Matt And Kim "Lessons Learned"
Passion Pit "The Reeling"
Yeah Yeah Yeahs "Heads Will Roll"

Best Art Direction
Beyoncé "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)"
Britney Spears "Circus"
Coldplay "Viva La Vida"
Gnarls Barkley "Who's Gonna Save My Soul"
Lady Gaga "Paparazzi"

Best Choreography
A.R. Rahman & Pussycat Dolls f/ Nicole Scherzinger "Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny)"
Beyoncé "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)"
Britney Spears "Circus"
Ciara ft Justin Timberlake "Love Sex Magic"
Kristinia DeBarge "Goodbye"

Best Cinematography
Beyoncé "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)"
Britney Spears "Circus"
Coldplay "Viva La Vida"
Green Day "21 Guns"
Lady Gaga "Paparazzi"

Best Direction
Beyoncé "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)"
Britney Spears "Circus"
Cobra Starship "Good Girls Go Bad (Featuring Leighton Meester)"
Green Day "21 Guns"
Lady Gaga "Paparazzi"

Best Editing
Beyoncé "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)"
Britney Spears "Circus"
Coldplay"Viva La Vida"
Lady Gaga "Paparazzi"
Miley Cyrus "7 Things"

Best Special Effects
Beyoncé "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)"
Eminem "We Made You"
Gnarls Barkley "Who's Gonna Save My Soul"
Kanye West ft Mr. Hudson "Paranoid"
Lady Gaga "Paparazzi"

Best New Artist
3Oh!3 "Don't Trust Me"
Asher Roth "I Love College"
Drake "Best I Ever Had"
Kid Cudi "Day N' Nite"
Lady Gaga "Poker Face"

Happy Happy Happy

Hehehe I am on a like permanent high today, pretty damn happy lol =). Hmm Guess why? I can't wait, but I am also Really really nervous, but it should be exciting. And if it doesn't work out, o well, I'll move on xD.
Anyway, the only down side is I can't sleep, I never have trouble sleeping nowdays yet last night it took me forevver to get to sleep and this morning I woke at 6.20am =( And I didn't even have school till 10!!
Hmm but I don't mind to much lol =)

Its more than obvious :p

I always hype things up waay to much, telling people and stuff, so this time I'm going to shut up even though i really don't want to. WILL POWER Kristin! Anyways all I'll say is I'm a happy chappy and hope all this works out, however its meant to.
Anyways I just needed to vent, because chatting on msn im just like WANT TO TEll but no, I won't!

x

Acting Out

I'm suffocating, i can't breathe
Let me out this cage, i'm not gonna hold back
Gonna break these chains, i'm taking control now
Gonna giva ya something to talk about
It's another side of me
I'm acting out

Set me free, i'm ready to show you
This is what i need, it's time to get dirty
Imma show you what i'm talking about
It's another side of me
I'm acting out

Languages

I am LOOOVING songs in other languages at the moment so much! I dunno why, they are just nice for a change. Nelly Furtado's whole new album is Spanish that might be partly why but I love:

Superbus-Radio

Nelly Furtado-Mano Al Aire

Nina Sky-Oye my canto

Nelly Furtado-Mas




and such, I remember Siobhan told me about some French music but I've forgotten the artists, Siobhan if you read this please tell me them =)

Anyway anyone know any other good international music?



xx
Cos I love knitting haha xD

The Energy Never Dies

Just got BEP's new album :D Listening to it now so don't know too much on how it is yet.
OMG Panic at the Disco have split, which kinda sucks, though their last album was bad I thought they might change their sound yet again, but no, I dunno wether they will get 2 new members or not.
Check this website out:
the celebrity ones are sooo funny :D
Ooo Loving this cd (BEP) Check out One Tribe! Havn't heard much more yet, but the remixes are awsome! )Lets get re-started, shut the phunk up)
Omg Shakira's new song is WIIIERD! I don't like it at all.

Comic =)

Hehehe

Man Taylor Swift is awsome!

'State the obvious, didn't get my perfect fantasy. I realised you love yourself more than you could ever love me. So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy, I'll tell mine your gay!...So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time, as far as I'm concerned your just another picture to burn!'

But she'd be pretty scary if you dated her, all that stuff she'd write about you xD

Omg

I had to share these! Off this website http://www.fmylife.com/
1.
Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

2.
Today, I was in charge of throwing a party for my mom. I told my little brother he was suppose to blow up the balloons which were in my dresser. Apparently, he accidentally found all my condoms, unknowingly, and decorated the house in prophylactics instead of balloons. Happy Birthday, Mom. FML

3.
Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in their fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids are 4 and 2. FML

4.
Today, my daughter asked me what the youngest age you should start having sex is, being a good mother I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh...shoot." and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

5.
Today, I was sitting at the park with a friend when a small child approached us. Just as moved off the bridge to let the kid play, he asked if I would like to play the troll under the bridge. I laughed and said no thanks, to which the kid responded 'but there is nobody else ugly enough.' FML

'If we're gunna lose this thing, we're going out in style!'

SO, my blog, is pretty damn boring!

I'm thinking I should kinda change that, I mean who wants to read about my life?

MUSIC - now THAT is something more interesting! I need to find new music, actually I always need to find new music, anyone got any sugestions about good bands/songs/artists?

I am absolutly IN LOVE with Danger Radio!! (espec their song 'Your Kind (speak to me)

Why arn't these kind of bands big in NZ? Like White Tie Affair and stuff? Cos they are AMAZING! And catchy!

Annnd cool ridiculously long song titles!

'Allow me to introduce myself...Mr. Right' with awsome lyrics!

Lets get this party started...Cos she was thinking Mr. Right, I was thinking right NOW!

On new music though Nelly Furtado's new single is really nice! Its in Spanish? 'Manos Al Aire' and and Pixie Lott is going to be BIG! Not probably as big as Esmee but, still good! There needs to be more good rock music out at the moment cos other then Green Day there is NOTHHING! Just dance, hip hop and pop/rock stuff. Omg Jason Mraz's single 'I'm Yours' has just about made a Billboard Top 100 RECORD! He's at his 64th week in the singles chart and if he makes it to 70 weeks its a new record! NOOO, man I HATE that song!

I could talk about music for ever, but I won't xD

Omg new Harry Potter movie out in like a week or so? I CAN'T WAIT! Hmm anyone know how good Transformers is? I dunno wether to see it or not! Lol theres a movie coming out soon called Sorority Row and it looks so shit! And stars someone from the Hills so yeah, gonna be GREAT acting!

Ooo heres a comic, I love these soo much!

<33

Happy.ish

Well im a lot better then I've been the last few days =) Which is GREAT cos I don't like being sad.
So I wasn't exactly upset about what I thought I was, which probably doesn't make much sense but it does to me xD It was more so something that happened that made me remember some stuff that happened a few yrs ago...but I talked to Cindy who is great in these kind of situations, and Hanisi emailed me and now im happy happy happy, i think c:

So yeah pretty much
ONE MORE CLASS TILL HOLIDAYS!!! Maths ugh yaaay xD Nah its not 2 bad with Rocio and Aimee hehe
xxx

We set our own limitations.

Wow, screw my last post. Cos this has been the shittiest (thats a word) of days in a looong time. I don't like being sad, but stuffs happened. Stuff I can't even begin to explain. And it wasn't really till today that things hit me.
Meh, so today was a terrible terrible day, just like the weekend. I can't put into words whats happened, even to my close friends...I don't want to talk to people, which is odd cos I usually tell my friends EVERYTHING, well not everything, but you know what I mean.
Cindy asked me a millions times today what was wrong, I didn't tell her anything, I just left the class. I told Aimee part of it, but couldn't explain anything Really. Lol one person went all day talking to me and didn't even realise I was upset, take a guess who! I don't want to go to school, but I don't want to stay at home, I hate faking it, but I hate being by myself, I like to be surrounded by people so I can just merge into the background. Which would of been easy at the beginning of this term, but I have friends, good friends at school now so its kind of difficult. Arghhh. I can't win.
I just want to be happy and forget everything thats happened, is that to much to ask?

...

Life should be HAPPY. What good comes out of being depressed? So YOU! Be happy happy happy cos lifes too short kk

I love Jo cos shes super awesome. and yeah she is waay better at guitar hero than me. i say that of my own free will.

omg i think i love julia. seriously. i hope she doesnt read this. crap.
thats what my last blog was about...

Hmm my little rant xD

You know when, you've had a lot going on over the period of a few months or so and its all just gone by so quick, then you take a look back and you think 'Did I really like how I handled that?' 'Is my head/heart really in the right place?' or even 'Do I really like how I've turned out?' because of things that have been going on. Hmm these are some of the questions that have been going through my mind. A lot of my days seem to merge into one another with not much purpose, I've kind of lost exactly what I'd planned to do this year, but thats ok, I have over 6 months to get back on track and sort my life out, if that is possible.
Then there are people who you absolutly love having as your friends and you are so grateful yet you wonder if they really care about you. Even if I complain about someone, I do love them, all my friends are AMAZING people but a few of them who said they had 2 keep in touch with me and I've TRIED but they really don't seem to care anymore. Why not? Why why WHY??? ARGH it makes me so angry, they go on I dont make an effort yet IM always the one trying to organise things. I have to txt first, i have to make the plans, I have to talk first on facebook etc, Why the hell don't they care anymore!!
Hmm this blog didn't turn out the way I planned it to, but I am just so annoyed! If some people want to stay friends, they really need to start Acting like they want 2 be friends!

I <3 Julia, Jo, Heather, Siobhan and Roseanna, you guys are AMAZING! And I just want you guys to know how much I appreciate you all and how fantastic you are :D xx

Be an INDIVIDUAL!

There are people who would rather do what everybody else is doing then be an individual. Then there are some just as crazy people who won't do something because its cool and is what other people are doing. Did I explain that right? Then there are a lot of people who DO just do whatever they want which is good! But these people who won't do something just because its cool or won't wear something because its in fashion are just annoying me. Shouldn't you do or wear something because YOU WANT TO? Who cares wether it is cool or whatever or not. NOT doing something because its cool is just ridiculous! I was just remembering something that happened at Easter Camp when a few of the guys got their nails painted (xD) and then pretty much all of the guys got their nails painted. Then a bit later going over to the big top I noticed one of the guys wasn't wearing the nail polish anymore. When I asked why he said it was because too many people did it and it became the cool thing to do or something like that. What the heck? Just do it because you want to! Argh I have a few friends who are like that. They think they are all awsome and individual when really they are just being stupid!

Arghhh just don't judge!

I am Annoyed! I've been reading twitter updates and one of the people I follow is Perez Hilton. He had a link and he said 'Christians are coming out against Miley Cyrus and Heidi Montag.' and this link was from a Christian website (Christian Post) and I did not like it at all!! Though I am no fan of Miley or Heidi, when Perez asked, 'do you believe in homosexual marriage?' Miley said that Jesus's greatest commandment is to love and she would love Perez whether he was gay or not, Heidi said we should love our neighbour and we are all equal! Good on them!! I believe it is not our place to judge people who are gay or whatever!! This Christian website completely disagreed with Miley and Heidi and are pretty much saying they aren't Christian. Now I'm not saying what I believe about these 'celebrities' being Christians or not, I am angry at how this website just said what they believe is wrong and saying that gay marrige is wrong, full stop, it is not our place to judge!
Arghhh.

Wow

Where have I gone? I feel like I'm turning into someone else, or they are turning into me. Ughh.
Eeek 3rd dance concert 2nyt! Wish me luck! Mums watching 2nyt so il probably make a lot of mistakes xD.
Anyway, can't wait till EC, I think...

Exciiiited!

Omg, tonight I'm performing, I'm nervous, but excited!! Hehe its gunna b so much fun!
But today defiantly hasn't been a great day. A really close family friend from church passed away yesterday, Arthur, its so sad, I feel so sorry for his wife =( And mum was really good friends with him. Hmm the funeral is meant to be on Thurs, so um School, Funeral, Dance Concert AND Easter Camp, gosh its going to be a crazy day.
I feel like i've been going to Hagley for like ever, yano, just feels so normal, its not exciting being at a new school anymore xD But i miss everyone at mgs sooo much! I hope 2 catch up lots with ppl in the holidays!! Its just really hard to!
Be my bad boy
be my man
be my weekend lover
But don't be my friend!
Hehe an AWESOME song by Cascada, i loooves it!
Anyway, I don't really have much to write, I'm happy and sad, excited and nervous, confused but content
Pretty much xx

'Can't you make me feel alive'

I feel quite, alone at the moment.

'Becoming a bitch is not what I got into this for'

Ok so I have decided I am totally sick and tired of all these pathetic little bitchy fights people seem to be having, Like serously we are 16!!!!!! GROW UP!
Maybe its because I'm not surrounding by all these MGS people every day so I have a different view on things and can see how pathetic it is. And Hagley has made me grow up a bit.
I know I used to have these stupid little fights but I have realised how pathetic they are. If someone says something that annoys you or does something to piss you TELL THEM, dont bitch about it with other people. It all just ends up in this vicious bitchy cycle.
ARGHH so thats whats annoying me today.
Goodbye.

A thought...

Something all Christians probably have thought about and it was in our churches sermon this morning, its quite sad really.

'During a meeting, the speaker said 'Put up your hands at the back if you can't hear me'.' Uhh and how would this work?

So many people will never hear the word of God and I don't just mean people in third world countries (And that asshole in Auckland who said Auckland without electricity was like living in a third world county infuriates me!) I have friends who have never been told about God, proabably never will because of the family they have been brought up in. I know we are meant to spread the word but I never really know how or that im the right person to do it.

Theres a guy at Hagley who a few weeks ago was in the library (where we hang out cos we are SOO cool xD) And he stayed their throughout morning tea, our break period and lunch, so 2 and a half hours or so. Whenever somebody would sit at his table, he would tell them his testimony, how he became a Christian and evverything! And these people were STRANGERS to him and I could tell they weren't interested at all. I think this is so totally over the top. Sure mention God but don't give people an hour speech on Him. I don't even know how to really bring it up with good friends of mine who havn't really learnt about God. I try to let God 'shine' through me i suppose? I try to do the right thing, though of course people who arn't Christians do the right thing to, so whats that showing?? I talk about Church around them, but my church isn't the kind of place a lot of my friends would find interesting, Ive grown up with it so I love it. Hmm I don't know. I think I need to try harder. And thats pretty much what I've been thinking about today.

Hmm i think I did a pretty crap job at trying to explain myself, maybe this is why I dont blog about meaningful things to much xD.

=)

God Bless xxx

Ughh

I have NOT changed. I may swear a little more, but i kinda forget about it when im around people who swear regurally INCLUDING teachers. I think i talk a little more, is that such a bad thing? and Im a little more confident about myself THATS GOOD so people stop saying i've changed ARGHHHHH.

Songs

Lie To Me
Tell me another lie,
I dont wanna know what I know to be true,
What i need you to do, tell me another lie
Lie to me, Lie to Me, Lie to me please

Do You
YOu probably dont care what I have to say
But its been heavy on my mind for months now
Guess im just trying to clear some mental space.
I would love to talk to you in person,
but I understand why that can't be.
I'll leave you alone for good I promise
If you answer this 1 question for me,
I just wonder,
Do you ever, think of me? Anymore? Do You?

Time
In the time, it would take,
for you to learn from your mistakes
In the time, it would take,
to dial the phone
In the time, it would take,
for you to realise his greatness,
He'll be gone, he's moved on,
to someone who takes the time.

Crazy Times!

Ok its working again and since so much is changing I'ma blog.

New school and omg its so completely different and I'm pretty scared. I have hardly talked to ANYONE except Hannah and Grace so far...I'm quite worried I'm not going 2 make friends, but Hannah says we will...in a few weeks.

And there is going to be so much work. Whoever goes on that Hagley is a school for lazy asses who want to just bunk have no idea, its just like a normal school work wise, cept we can get a lot more credits then you can at Middleton.
Dance is going to be TUFF, our teacher doesn't like hip hop which kinda sucks but o well, we are performing to an audience THIS TERM and doing solo choreography for 6 credits THIS TERM. Eeeeek. But everyone does seem really nice which is great and the teachers seem MUCH friendlier then at Middleton, but its early days.

I am not keeping in touch with half the people i wanted to, BUT i did think maybe some people would ask how its going or something, hello bebo, txt what use is this stuff then?, Only circle people seem to be keeping in touch, and i thought i had a lot of friends outside that, but obviously not really ughh.
And then theres a 'friend' outside of school (well outside my old skwl xDD),gosh I'm so sad/angry/annoyed it ended like this but i suppose it had to.



'I don't wanna dream about, all the things that never were, maybe I can live without, When I'm out from under, I don't wanna feel the pain, What good would it do me now, I'll get it all figured out, When I'm out from under.'

Silly Internet

4 Some reason it wont let me view my blog, so im done. Until i figure out why.

heheh

Havnt blogged in a loong time! Pretty over it. Went to Addington races today, that was fun. Been upset 4 the 1st time in a loooong time this wk over somebody but o well, im pretty over it now, i dont need her even if she seems 2 need me. Sams tomorrow, that'll b awsome!!!! And i know what im doing 4 Jo's bday pressie hehe so exciting. And OMG im seeing dad in like 2wks, bt its the same time as Jo's bday which SUXXX bt hopefuly everything will sort out. Im going 2 my uncles wedding and i get 2 see my lil bro and sis hehe im excited =)
Anyway that is my life.
Hagley next wk and im scared shitless but i hope it'll all go ok, I hope...

Love xxx