.

Everybody is pulling me in different directions but I don't know what the right way is.I don't even know if there is a right way or just two very very different paths I could take, both with their good and bad points. I know what I want but a lot of people don't think its right :( especially my mum and dad. And i'd always look to mum for advice but what do I do when her opinion is something I don't even believe in doing?

Someone told me to blog, but I don't really know where I'm going with this or what to say at all so maybe I will wait till my mind doesn't feel quite so messed up and jumbled. I am way to lost and confused. :S



"I'm in the dark and you're my light
I'm going blind and you're my sight
I feel alive
You set me free I hold you tight
You're in my heart and I'm the knife
I feel alive
You belong to me
Like I belong to you
I feel alive"

Crazy Times!

Ok its working again and since so much is changing I'ma blog.

New school and omg its so completely different and I'm pretty scared. I have hardly talked to ANYONE except Hannah and Grace so far...I'm quite worried I'm not going 2 make friends, but Hannah says we will...in a few weeks.

And there is going to be so much work. Whoever goes on that Hagley is a school for lazy asses who want to just bunk have no idea, its just like a normal school work wise, cept we can get a lot more credits then you can at Middleton.
Dance is going to be TUFF, our teacher doesn't like hip hop which kinda sucks but o well, we are performing to an audience THIS TERM and doing solo choreography for 6 credits THIS TERM. Eeeeek. But everyone does seem really nice which is great and the teachers seem MUCH friendlier then at Middleton, but its early days.

I am not keeping in touch with half the people i wanted to, BUT i did think maybe some people would ask how its going or something, hello bebo, txt what use is this stuff then?, Only circle people seem to be keeping in touch, and i thought i had a lot of friends outside that, but obviously not really ughh.
And then theres a 'friend' outside of school (well outside my old skwl xDD),gosh I'm so sad/angry/annoyed it ended like this but i suppose it had to.



'I don't wanna dream about, all the things that never were, maybe I can live without, When I'm out from under, I don't wanna feel the pain, What good would it do me now, I'll get it all figured out, When I'm out from under.'

Worst Day

Today was one of the most terribilest terrible days in a long time.
Dont fucking sit right next to me, talking to someone else about something im 'not allowed to find out about' and say to my face im not allowed to know because it could hurt me or whatever, but then keep talking about it to someone else
TWICE IN TWO HOURS.
For fuck sake that pissed me off.
And who it was about didn't even mind telling me anyway, even though it may of hurt, just a little.
At least I have Emily, Caitlin & Fliss to go to if people are fucking me off.

I hope nobody reads this, I don't think anyone does anyway thank goodness, but whatever.

CANT WAIT TO LEAVE AND GO TO HAGLEY
Gosh im glad im leaving.

Goal: To stop spreading secrets, cos even though I didn't today, I know sometimes I do just like everyone else, but spreading private stuff hurts and if i stop, well thats one less person gossiping.

Hmm that was my vent.

'Keeps Getting Better'

I'm feeling somthing I havnt felt in a looong time (That wasnt meant 2 sound sick by the way) It makes me very happy, but also a bit lost on confused...I don't know what to do. And I don't know who to talk to...I want to talk to someone different! A new perspective on things would be really nice.

I have no more braces YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY, got them off like 3 days ago, that was pretty exciting!

Hagley! Is also something im excited about...don't really have a reason not to go unless that something that I hope happens does happen. But since people may read my blog if they are veeeery bored then I cant say what that something is!! Anyway so Hagley, yay, fresh start! But to go I need to be more outgoing, i have been so boring lately I need to become more friendly and stuff, so hopefully! :)
So pretty much, Holidays now YAAAY.
xxxx